Saturday, November 28, 2015

A Second Chance

"I promise to love you even if it hurts. I love you more even when it hurts" says Basha to Popoy.

Hindi ganun ka dali magmahal. Dahil paminsan, dahil sa pagkatao natin, sa ugali natin, sa mga choices natin sa buhay e imbes na maipadama natin pagmamahal natin sa kanila kabaliktaran ang kanilang naabutan, nasasaktan natin ung taong sabi natin mahal natin. And kapag may nagawa tayong pagkakamali na nakasira sa relasyon na ating iningatan, pinagpaguran na mabuo, well, minsan di na natin alaman kung san mag sisimula muli, at saan tayo patutungo. Di malaman kung sino ba talaga dapat sisihin, siya ba o ako. At pag sinisi mo naman ang taong mahal mo, wala na. Pag sinisi mo sarili mo e di tapos na din ang mundo. Pag nag hiwalay, nagkasakitan, tapos nagkitang muli. Ewan. Di malaman anung nararamdaman. Diba ang hirap isipin kung anung unang sasabihin o kung anung dapat na reaction ang gagawin. Paminsan kasi sa dinami dami naman ng pagkakataon, may panahon na makakatagpo mo sa isang lugar yung taong di mo pala talaga kayang kalimutan. Sa mga nakarami jan, at nabigo sa unang pagkakataon, may time na makikita mo ang ex mo, ang taong minsan mong minahal. And admit it, may kaba, may feeling na ewan. May feeling na bumabalik, parang masaya na parang nasaksaktan, bumabalik ung mga ala-ala. Sabi nga ni Popoy: "sa twing nararamdaman ko kung gaano kita kamahal hindi ko maiwasan maramdaman ang lahat ng sakit." Sa mga nakakarelate, nasasaktan tayo kasi bahagi sila ng puso natin kahit nagkahiwalay pa man.

When things go wrong at mahal na mahal natin yung tao, we always ask for another chance, to give us another chance. Ang hirap naman kasi kalimutan at mawala ung nararamdaman pag andami ninyong happy and memorable memories sa buhay diba. Mahirap masira ang relasyon. Mahirap pag nasira ang pamilya. Mahirap maghanap ng pagmamahal na mas hihigit pa sa pagmamahal na minsan mong nadama sa kanya. You'll always look forward for another chance. For a second chance. 

50 couples gave themselves a second chance to say "I do" before the Lord at the Nuestra Señora del Pilar Shrine, Lower Tungawan, Tungawan, Zamboanga Sibugay, Philippines. May 30, 2015
Sugal ang pag-ibig. You never know what will happen, how its going to be, you would not know if the other would love you back when you love, you'll never know the answers to your 'what if's. Ang importante lang naman is that you love, and you loved at all. And if it didn't work, its worth giving another chance. It's worth giving another chance to your heart na magmahal muli, pwedeng sa dati or sa iba naman. Kung mahal mo yung tao diba, kahit anung sakit nagawa nya sayo bibigyan mo pa rin siya ng isa pang pagkakataon. A second chance.

Sasabihin nyo, si Father naman, advent ang tema ngayon, pero pumapag-ibig pa din ang pinag uusapan, pinopromote mo lang ata ang A Second Chance eh. My dear friends, ADVENT IS NOT JUST ABOUT WAITING, IT IS ABOUT A SECOND CHANCE. IT IS ABOUT TAKING CHANCES TO CHANGE WHILE WAITING. The second coming of Christ is our second chance. A second chance of what? Well, a second chance of loving God, of being in a good relationship with God. And not just with God but also with the People of God. It's a chance of repairing our up and down, away bati na relationship with God. Don't tell me you have never comitted any sin and you don't commit sin in your life. Everytime you choose not to love your neigbor, your son, your daughter, your husband, your wife, your parents, your relatives, your friends because they did something to you or because you are mad, because you are stressed, because you are insane, because you have your own personality, because you opt not to... you are hurting your relationship with God not just with your loved ones. 

Advent is a time to repair our Church. Not the building but "US" the church who is long been wed to Christ, "us" who continually destroys our relationship with Him. Vices that destroys the family and oneself, anger and pride, injustices, demanding love and unforgiving attitudes, envy of our friends, cheating our loved ones, pinapahirapan ang mga anak sa kasalanan ng asawa, blaming, pagpapabaya, individualism, personal grudges, beliefs in other gods and superstitions, treachery, desires and passions that destroys others, disbelief, distrust, etc. etc. 

Aren't we suppose to increase and abound in love for one another and for all so as to strengthen your hearts, to be blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his holy ones gaya ng sabi ng First Reading today? Hindi ba dapat bigyan na natin ngayon ng isa pang pagkakataon ang mga sarili natin na magbago? Well, maybe hindi man dumating bukas si Cristo o namatay na tayo di pa din dumating, pero isn't it great if we give ourselves a second chance, for our sake, for our relationship sake, for our family's sake? E kelan pa tayo magbabago kung hindi ngayon. "Kelan mo pa ibibigay ang buhay mong wagas sa kanya na nagbigay sayo ng buhay na wagas" as the song goes. 

This is the season of another chance. Advent is the season for another chance. Gaya ng sabi ni Bashang, "I want to stop wondering 'what if,' – I want to know 'what is'" we should stop asking ourselves "what if wala naman pala tayong mapapala kung magbago tayo?" Let's stop asking "what if kung masasaktan lang din naman pala ako?" We should start to do what is right and just. Oras na para itama ang mali. Ika nga ng Gospel, “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life, and that day catch you by surprise like a trap." Sa kakatanong nating ng "what if" di tuloy natin alam when the day comes, anu isasagot natin when we are finally asked: "have you ever loved God and your neighbor?"

My dear friends, this advent is like the words of Popoy: "Ito na yung huling gabi na mayroon ikaw at ako. Simula bukas, ang meron na lang ay tayo, tayo habang buhay." Ito na sana yung huling advent na di kayo nagkakasundo ng sino mang kagalit mo, nasaktan mo, sinasaktan mo. Ito na sana yung huling advent na nasasaktan ka at bukas ay you'll give yourself another chance, a second chance to love.

This first Sunday of Advent, I pray for all my friends who are afraid to love again, may you have the second, the third, the infinite chance to love again. I pray for my friends who are deeply hurt and in pain that they might feel love and acceptance soon. I pray for those whom I have hurt, pinaasa, that you might forgive me too and give me a second chance to love you, maybe not in the way you planned it or wanted it to be but in another way. And if only there is an online confession, my penance for the penitents this advent is that you guys give yourself a second chance to love. And that you'll promise to love again even if it hurts, and that you'll continue to love even if it hurts.



Sunday, November 8, 2015

Surplus

Mahilig tayo sa "Surplus" lalu na kapag gipit sa pera at butas ang bulsa, second hand na mga gamit,  selpon, pinaglumaan ni ate/kuya na damit o laruan, ukay ukay at bazaar. Pag sinabing "surplus" ito yung amount of an assest or resource na sumobra sa portion na ginamit. A surplus is used to describe many excess assets including income, profits, capital at goods. Usually nangyayari ang surplus in a budget, kapag ang gastos ay mas mababa sa income na meron ka.Sa ibang sabi "sobra." Pero pwede din ito mangyari sa pagmamahal natin. May tinatawag ding SURPLUS LOVE

Surplus na pagmamahal. In one sense masasabi natin na ito ung pagmamahal na wow...andami mong sobra kahit nagmahal ka na ng lubusan. Kahit ibingay mo na ang lahat e may natira pa din, walang nagkulang sayo kaya kahit masaktan, iwanan, tinapakan, yinurakan, e ang bilis tumayo at nagmamahal pa din kasi di nagkulang. May natira pa para muling magmahal. Surplus love.

Pwede ding surplus love ang maitatawag sa the non-legal wife. Sobra sobra kasi pagmamahal ni kuya kaya pwede pang ibahagi sa isa pa. Naalala ko tuloy yung Etiquete for Mistresses. Very generous, so loving. Surplus love.

Sa kabilang dako maari din nating tawaging surplus love ung nagmamahal ka kasi may sobra kang pagmamahal na pwedeng ibigay. Naguumapaw sa pag-ibig kaya nais mong ibigay ang nag-umaapaw mong pagmamahal upang manatili kang buo at marangal. You feel blessed kapag naibigay mo yung di mo kailangan pero kailangan ng iba diba. I know a lot of friends who are all out and generous because they have everything and they have more than what they need including love.Yun nga lang paminsan pagnabigo ang mga taong ito, wala na. Ayaw na magmahal muli dahil naubos daw ang extra nya. Ang naiwan na lang ay ang pagmamahal nya sa sarili nya. Surplus.

Maraming generous na tao dahil may kaya sila at maraming sobra sa kanilang yaman. Mapagmahal ang tawag natin sa kanila kalimitan. Ang iba they do it as a passion. Ang iba naman dahil may sobra e. Wala man ibang magpaglagayan na sa bahay o sa pamilya kaya mas maiging mamigay, ibahagi sa iba. Pag may mga kalamidad, naku andaming nagbibigay ng mga damit, pagkain, pera at ung anu anu pa. Yung mga sobra sobra nila, mga di na magagamit o pinaglumaan ng damit, etc. Pag nagpa love drive ang simbahan, andaming second hand clothes, mga extra, pinagliitan kaya ayun nasa love drive box na. Surplus.

Bigla ko lang naitanong sa sarili ko ngayong araw na ito. Bakit ung surplus ang binibigay natin? Surplus na pagmamahal lang ba kaya nating ibigay? Bakit hindi ung bago mong biling shirt o kaya sapatos o kaya jacket o kaya TV o kaya kotse ang ibigay sa nangangailangan... sa iyong "kapwang minamahal." Hmmmm. napaisip nga ako. "Ah, kasi ikaw ang mawawalan pag binigay mo yan sa iba." Pagbinigay mo nga naman yung bago mong biling relo o regalo ng nanay mo sayo na iPhone6 sa kaibigan mong nanakawan o walang pambili ng ganito, e di ikaw ang nawalan. Ei hindi ba pag nagmahal ka, at kung hindi surplus ang pagmamahal mo e di ka nanghihinayang na mawala mga bagay bagay sayo alang alng sa kaligayahan at madama lng ang pagmamahal mo sa iyong minamahal?

Parehas lang yan sa simbahan at sa pagsisimba. Kalimitan yung barya ang hinuhulog sa basket kasi yun yung extra ng buhay mo diba. You don't give all your pera na pang palengke kasi pag ginawa mo yun e di mukha kang tanga dahil walang makakain sa bahay dahil na overwhelmed ka at hinulog mo lahat sa basket sa misa. Ewan ko lang kung may gumagawa ng gaya sa Gospel na nabasa natin ngayong araw na ito. "Amen, I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the other contributors to the treasury. For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood."

Ang pagmamahal natin sa Dios ay hindi pwedeng surplus. Alam nyo mga kapatid, I won't ask you to put into the church basket all your money in your bank coz that's not the main point. But rather I'd invite you to love God and your neighbor na hindi surplus.

How? Well, live to the fullest, trust, give your best to your career, to your family, to your self. Avoiding acts that would hurt yourself, be a faithful husband to your wife if you're married, be a loving wife. Do your obligations to your children if you are a parent, make them feel that they are loved, give them the 100 percent love they need from you, show concern to them when they are down, respect their privacy and their being. Study well and don't waste the money of your parents into nothing, be productive. Be faithful to your partners, to your love one. Do not hesistate to give all you've got in contests, in competitions, in everything. When there are calamities don't just give your extra clothes, give your best one. When you give something for this year's Christmas love drive, spend for that rather than spend your money in gadgets that only satisfy your technological needs. Give gifts that are not second hand, that are not surplus. Do not stop doing good and giving your best just because someone doesn't give you credit. And don't do good for the sake of credit.

If you love God, you love him with all your heart, body and mind. When you love your neighbor you also do the same kahit na ikaw mismo ang mukhang nawalan. I tell you, there's a big difference when you give because you have much, you have surplus than when you give all that is so precious for you. Ibang iba ang feeling. I can attest to that. Jesus never hesitated to give all, binigay nya lahat bilang alay. Kahit kapalit nito ang kanyang buhay para lang maipadama sa iyo ang kanyang pagmamahal. Diba ganun pag nagmahal? Diba pag inlove bahala nang magutom, bahala nang mawalan ka, bahala nang magkasakit, mapagod, masaktan, masugatan, mapahiha, etc basta maipakita lang na tunay kang nagmamahal at hindi surplus.

Do not carry on with a surplus love. "Do not be afraid. Go and do as you propose." Do a a little cake (or whatever you can do) and give it to your neighbor. Then you can prepare something for yourself and your family. For the LORD, says, 'The jar of flour shall not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, until the day when the LORD sends rain upon the earth.'" The woman in our first reading was able to eat for a year, and he and her son as well; the jar of flour did not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, as the LORD had foretold through Elijah.

Let us pray to God that we become generous persons but with a generosity na hindi surplus kundi generosity with true love.